Dear Alex,Thank you for writing me with regard to the issue of demote-looking your ex ? sonny a second fortune or not. According to your letter, you and your ex ? comrade were au n everthelessritatively in love since you two some(prenominal)(prenominal) heady to move together from L.A. to San Francisco for school. How incessantly, your kin was bust up howeverton up you didn?t mention in your letter what causes this. So I assume that your ex ? sheik cuckolded on you and you no womb-to-tomb take to slide by the kind and refractory to write down up with him. But now you are confuse of magnanimous him a second accident or not and you wrote in your letter that you be quiet perplex few touchs for him. From my even of view, it incessantly come a clock in either human blood where a breakup has occurred and a motif by virtuoso or both partners to try it again. Thus, now Ill look several(prenominal) causal agents why you should reign in that urge to pop flop approve into a relationship with the man that you ripe stepped come on of relationship with. Regardless who did the breaking up, theres everlastingly a reason why the relationship itself went sour so its just as important to go s let loose when it comes to sightedness of jumping back in. As Ivy Chen, an MPH, points out that ?our low loves are i jalopyized. honour of loving some integrity and notwithstanding(a) without having been hurt before? (Lovers from Friends; Friends with Benefits; presbyopic ? wooly Love Reunions Lecture, 9/15/2008). As he is your jump certainly stern partner, I believe you would a worry to keep the relationship with him. here(predicate) is my advice, as you still book note with him, you should give yourself and your ex ? fop a second chance to empathize what befool changes after your reunion. Right from the beginning, its important for you to be honest with yourself as to what caused the relationship to disintegrate. If the probl em was something easily fix fit becausece i! ts probably wise to go forth and give him the eudaemonia of the doubt and go with your heart, tho if the authoritative breakup entangled something to a greater uttermost difficult, then make sure that you keep both eye open and take your time to evaluate your request to stay on in a relationship that wasnt working in the past. As I assume that in the beginning your ex- blighter cheated on you which caused the relationship to end, I go out tell you how to deal with it. initiative of all, your ex has cheated barely why did he cheat on you? This regards on what type of cheat it is and I?m discharge to call down rough one-time cheats. One-time cheats make a real defect. He regrets it and he hates himself for the fact that he prolong cheated. He is frightened by what he have disconnect or nearly lost ? the person he sincerely love, which is you! Whether you caught him or not, he won?t do it again. Since you give tongue to your ex ? fashion plate is a commitment ? p hobe, moreover he did talk something that he had never mentioned before, and I think he really wants to get back with you again. So in this case, you should recount getting back with your ex even though he has cheated. There is no doubt you will be experiencing a deep sense of betrayal, hurt, anger, confusion, and doubt about(predicate) your ability to ever love and trust again. After all, everything you considerd in has proved to be false, or so it seems. But you may in whatever case visualise that despite all you are feeling now, your relationship had luxuriant value and substance that you are fain to give it a second chance. There is never some(prenominal) excuse for cheating, which is why it is never your fault. But genuine remorse deserves at least a chance of forgiveness, an opportunity to overthrow an important misapprehension into a lesson to live by in the future. To give a second chance with your ex ? boyfriend you discharge see what he has changed. ?You bro ke up the foremost time around. If you want to reuni! te, you must openly discuss the original breakup and fancy out what went wrong? (Course Reader, p.193). In umteen cases, it will be because you or your partner was no long-life prepared or able to tolerate certain behaviors from from separately one other. If this is what resulted in your broke up, you need to identify what those behaviors were and stave off them, permanently and for real. As your ex ? boyfriend asked for a reunion, he must have something changed. For one thing, you should not believe in your ex ?boyfriend is, no one changes fundamental aspects of themselves overnight. For you parcel out giving your ex -boyfriend a second chance, you need to believe that change is real and lasting. So what you need to know is some solid proofs he has lay effort to change and be a better him. Of cut across this is something you as well need to have, which means you need to improve yourself as well as your ex ? boyfriend. Otherwise, if the same problem came up again, and you can be sure it will, you two would break up if you and your ex ? boyfriend stayed the same. Thus it is important to look sleepless on how he works to be a better man for you. If both of you can get over your flunk and get along together, I?m sure you and your ex ? boyfriend will have a better and more stable relationship than before. Just like Donna Hanover and Ed Oster, their reunion after their broke up which happened many social classs agone give them a reinvigorated vision from seeing apiece other again. ?We decided to take full advantage of a second chance together ? a veritable miracle in both of our lives? (Course Reader, p.193). So getting back together can prove how you and your boyfriends have changed and in turns make your relationship stronger. In my early relationship, I dated a goofball for about two year and a half. I was really in love with him but unfortunately, he was still inexperienced with relationships and had a hard time in expressing himself. We brok e up in third year and I went on to a smart true ca! t, one that was able to give me commitment.
However I still thought about the first guy and decided to clutch him, then I realized it was a mistake and attractive much avoided his call off calls after the first sink in. After a month of this, I emailed him back and told him I made a mistake because I am now in a reinvigorated relationship. He invited me to see him and have a talk for the neighboring few months but I declined. I then went to a party of our parking lot friend and when we saw each other, everything came back and he deeply apologized for not taking our relationship more seriously. He said he real ized that I was the whole girl who truly wanted him for who he was and that he was not able to find the same feeling with anyone else. I told him we could remain friends and remained in physical contact for the last few months but it is getting harder for me not to think about him. He also told me his feelings were very strong but that he didnt want to precipitancy my current relationship if I love the other guy. I told him I do have feelings for my current boyfriend but what in my heart is that I still felt a strong feeling for him. He really does seem like he has matured but I am shadowy that he might take me for granted again if I got serious about him again. The problem is he is the only guy I have felt this strongly about and the only one who has truly been able to hold my interest. Although my mod boyfriend was great but I didn?t feel mad about him anymore after I met my ex. I didn?t want to have my heart broken again by him, but he was also the only person that has st ayed in my mind for that past few years. So, what did! I do? At that point I didn?t want to lie to my new boyfriend and stay with him while still kept contact with my ex. So I decided to get back with my first lover again and I think it?s merit finding out just how much he has changed. So give him a chance. In conclusion, I think what you and your ex ? boyfriend need to strengthen are reassurance and conversation. ?Since the most plebeian complaint of those couples who come for counseling is not money, sex or their children but complaints about converse problems, or lack of communication? (Elia & Chen, p.83). This is a really important issue for you two to think of if you want to keep your reunion relationship stable. ?All partners, lovers, friends, and chance(a) cuddle buddies deserve reassurance and communication time. Don?t depend someone else to read your mind? (Elia & Chen, p.160). Thus keep these in mind and give it a try. Sincerely,Dr. RoofReferences1.Chen, Ivy. Course Reader from affinity Edge, 20082.Elia, John P and Chen, Ivy. Sex and Relationships: An Anthology, 2nd Edition. Dubuque, Iowa: Kendall Hunt Publishers, 20053.Lovers from Friends; Friends with Benefits; foresightful ? Lost Love Reunions Lecture notes, 2008 If you want to get a full essay, order it on our website:
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